For as long as I can remember, making decisions—especially the small ones—has been a huge source of stress for me. You’d think I was making life-altering choices when, in reality, I was agonizing over things like what to wear to a casual event or which restaurant to go to for dinner. This constant state of indecision seemed harmless at first, but over time, it became mentally exhausting. The more I hesitated, the more anxious I felt, and that anxiety bled into every part of my life.
I’d spend what felt like hours debating with myself, overanalyzing every possible outcome until I was completely overwhelmed. Often, I’d end up avoiding the decision altogether, which only made me feel worse. It wasn’t until I started to really pay attention to how these small moments of indecision were contributing to my overall anxiety that I realized something had to change.
Why Indecision and Anxiety Are So Closely Linked
What I’ve come to understand is that indecision isn’t just about struggling to make a choice—it’s about the underlying anxiety that drives the hesitation. Indecision stems from a fear of making the “wrong” choice, whether that’s due to perfectionism, fear of failure, or even fear of judgment. When you’re anxious, every decision can feel like it has huge stakes attached to it, even when it’s something as simple as choosing what to eat for lunch.
In my case, I found that my constant overthinking was tied to a deep-seated fear of making mistakes. I was worried that if I chose wrong—whether in a big or small way—I’d regret it, or worse, that I’d be judged by others. This fear fueled my indecision, and every time I avoided making a choice, my anxiety got worse.
Here’s why anxiety and indecision often go hand-in-hand:
1. Fear of the Unknown
Anxiety thrives on uncertainty. When faced with a decision, especially one with unknown outcomes, anxious individuals tend to get stuck in a loop of “what ifs.” What if I choose the wrong option? What if something bad happens? This fear of the unknown keeps us paralyzed, making it harder to take action.
2. Perfectionism
Perfectionism can play a big role in indecision. The belief that there’s a “right” or “perfect” choice puts immense pressure on the decision-making process. For people like me, it can feel like every small decision needs to be flawless, which only fuels the anxiety further.
3. Overthinking and Analysis Paralysis
When anxiety is present, we tend to overanalyze every detail of a situation. We think through every possible outcome, every consequence, and every potential mistake. This overthinking often leads to “analysis paralysis,” where we become so overwhelmed with the possibilities that we’re unable to make any decision at all.
How Indecision Impacts Mental Health
I learned the hard way that indecision doesn’t just cause momentary stress—it has long-term effects on mental health. Constantly second-guessing myself and putting off decisions made me feel more out of control, and the more I avoided making choices, the more anxious I became. Over time, this pattern of indecision can lead to heightened anxiety, stress, and even a sense of helplessness.
What’s more, chronic indecision can also lower self-esteem. Every time I avoided making a decision, it felt like I was reinforcing the idea that I wasn’t capable of handling even the smallest challenges. This self-doubt fed into my anxiety, creating a vicious cycle that was hard to break.
What to Do About Indecision and Anxiety
Breaking the cycle of indecision and anxiety isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely possible. I started making progress when I began to understand that indecision is often a symptom of anxiety, not just a personal failing. By addressing the anxiety that fuels indecision, you can start to make choices with more confidence and ease.
Here are a few strategies that helped me—and that might help you too:
1. Limit the Number of Choices
One of the most effective ways I’ve found to combat indecision is to limit the number of choices I have to make. Instead of overwhelming myself with too many options, I give myself a set number—two or three at most. This makes the decision-making process feel less daunting and more manageable.
Tip: For smaller decisions, try narrowing it down to two options. Once you’ve done that, make a decision quickly without overthinking it. For larger decisions, create a list of pros and cons for each option, but give yourself a time limit to decide.
2. Trust Your Gut
I used to ignore my gut instincts because I didn’t trust myself to make the “right” choice. But over time, I learned that trusting my intuition often led to better decisions. Your gut feeling is based on your past experiences, and it’s usually a reliable guide. Learning to trust that initial instinct can save you from endless overthinking.
Tip: When faced with a decision, ask yourself what your first instinct was before the overthinking set in. More often than not, that’s the right choice.
3. Set a Time Limit
If you’re prone to indecision, giving yourself a time limit can be incredibly helpful. I found that when I had all the time in the world to make a decision, I’d spend too long overanalyzing every detail. By setting a deadline—whether it’s five minutes or 24 hours—I forced myself to make a choice and move on.
Tip: For small decisions, set a timer for two minutes. For bigger decisions, give yourself a day. The key is to avoid letting decisions linger longer than necessary.
4. Challenge Perfectionism
Perfectionism was a big contributor to my indecision, and I had to learn to challenge it head-on. I realized that no decision is ever going to be perfect, and that’s okay. Once I accepted that making a mistake is part of the process, it became easier to make choices without agonizing over them.
Tip: Remind yourself that most decisions aren’t as permanent or life-changing as they seem in the moment. It’s okay to make mistakes or choose something that doesn’t work out—you can always adjust course later.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
One of the biggest lessons I learned was to be kinder to myself throughout the decision-making process. I used to beat myself up for being indecisive, which only made me feel worse. But when I started practicing self-compassion and acknowledging that indecision is a natural part of dealing with anxiety, it became easier to make choices without the pressure of perfection.
Tip: When you’re struggling with indecision, remind yourself that it’s okay to feel uncertain. Be gentle with yourself and recognize that decision-making is a skill that improves with time and practice.
Embracing Decision-Making as a Skill
Indecision and anxiety are closely linked, but the good news is that you can break free from the cycle. It took time, but I learned that decision-making is a skill, and like any skill, it gets easier with practice.
By addressing the underlying anxiety and learning to trust yourself, you can make decisions with more confidence—and without the overwhelming stress that comes with overthinking.
If you, like me, have found yourself stuck in indecision, know that it’s not something you’re alone in. Start small, take it one decision at a time, and be patient with yourself. With time, you’ll find that making choices becomes easier, and your anxiety will begin to lift as well.