I’ve lost count of how many times my inner critic has stopped me from taking a leap. Whether it was going after a promotion at work, trying a new hobby, or even something as small as speaking up in a meeting, that nagging voice would always creep in: “Who do you think you are? You’re not good enough for this.” For the longest time, I let that voice run my life. And as you can imagine, my confidence was nowhere to be found.
It wasn’t until I realized just how much that inner critic was holding me back that I decided something had to change. I started noticing the patterns, the moments when that negative self-talk would show up, and how it always had the same impact—it kept me small. It made me doubt my abilities and stopped me from even trying.
But once I started working on silencing that voice, I began to see shifts. It didn’t happen overnight, and I still have days when that critic shows up louder than I’d like, but with practice, I’ve learned how to quiet it. Here’s what I discovered along the way and how you can begin to silence your inner critic and build real confidence.
1. Recognize the Voice of Your Inner Critic
The first step to quieting your inner critic is becoming aware of it. For the longest time, I didn’t even realize that my inner voice was sabotaging me. It just felt like part of my thoughts. But once I became more mindful of how often it showed up—especially in moments of growth or challenge—I started to recognize it for what it was: fear dressed up as self-doubt.
Your inner critic often sounds like that voice telling you you’re not good enough, smart enough, or talented enough. It might replay past mistakes or remind you of your insecurities. The key is to differentiate between this voice and your true thoughts.
Tip: Start by paying attention to your thoughts, especially when you’re faced with a challenge. Whenever you notice that critical voice, pause and acknowledge it. Simply being aware of when your inner critic shows up is the first step toward silencing it.
2. Challenge the Negative Thoughts
Once you’re aware of your inner critic, the next step is to challenge its narrative. I remember one particular instance when I was applying for a new role at work. My inner critic was on full blast: “You’re not qualified for this. They’re going to see right through you.” I almost didn’t apply, but then I decided to challenge those thoughts. I made a list of all my qualifications, experiences, and skills that made me a strong candidate.
The thing is, your inner critic is rarely based on facts. It’s often a fear-based response that exaggerates your weaknesses while ignoring your strengths.
Tip: When that voice starts to criticize, ask yourself: Is this thought factually true? What evidence do I have that supports it? More often than not, you’ll realize that your inner critic is feeding you a distorted view. Counter it with positive affirmations or a list of your achievements. This helps shift your mindset from one of self-doubt to self-belief.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that being kind to yourself is a powerful way to quiet your inner critic. I used to be incredibly hard on myself for the smallest of mistakes. Every misstep felt like proof that I wasn’t good enough, and I would beat myself up over it for days. But over time, I realized that being so harsh on myself wasn’t helping—it was only making things worse.
Self-compassion is about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. When you make a mistake, instead of letting your inner critic run wild, remind yourself that everyone messes up from time to time. It doesn’t define your worth.
Tip: When you catch your inner critic being overly harsh, respond with self-compassion. Use phrases like, “It’s okay to make mistakes,” or “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.” Treat yourself with the kindness and empathy you would show to someone you care about.
4. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
My inner critic often showed up when I was striving for perfection. It told me that if something wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t worth doing. And because of that, I procrastinated and avoided taking action in so many areas of my life. I learned the hard way that perfectionism is a trap—it keeps you from starting, and it keeps you from growing.
When I started focusing on progress rather than perfection, everything changed. Instead of expecting myself to get everything right the first time, I began to appreciate the small steps I was taking. Each time I did something outside of my comfort zone, even if it wasn’t perfect, I reminded myself that I was making progress—and that was enough.
Tip: Shift your mindset from “I have to do this perfectly” to “I’m proud of myself for making progress.” Celebrate the small wins, and remind yourself that growth is a journey. The more you focus on progress, the quieter your inner critic becomes.
5. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
There’s something powerful about surrounding yourself with people who lift you up, especially when your inner critic is at its loudest. I noticed that when I spent time with supportive friends or mentors who believed in me, it was easier to believe in myself too. On the flip side, negative influences or overly critical people only amplified my inner critic.
Building confidence isn’t just an internal process—it’s also about creating an environment that supports your growth.
Tip: Make a conscious effort to spend time with people who encourage and uplift you. Whether it’s friends, family, or colleagues, surrounding yourself with positive influences will help quiet your inner critic and build your self-confidence.
Final Thoughts: Building Confidence Takes Time
Silencing your inner critic and building confidence is a journey, not an overnight fix. There will be moments when that voice shows up again, and that’s okay. The key is to keep practicing self-awareness, challenging negative thoughts, and focusing on your progress.
With time, you’ll notice that your inner critic’s voice gets quieter, and your self-confidence grows stronger. And remember, you are capable of far more than your inner critic would have you believe. Keep going—you’ve got this.