I’ll never forget the first time I had to give a presentation in front of a large audience. My hands were clammy, my heart was racing, and my mind went completely blank the moment I stood up. Despite having practiced multiple times, I was overwhelmed by performance anxiety. All I could think was, “Everyone is going to notice how nervous I am.”
It wasn’t the last time I felt that way. Whether it’s a big presentation, an important interview, or even a social event, that familiar tightness in the chest and fear of judgment can creep in. Over the years, though, I’ve learned some strategies that have helped me manage my anxiety and approach these situations with more calm and confidence. If you’re someone who struggles with performance anxiety, I hope these tips will help you too.
1. Prepare, but Don’t Over-Prepare
One of the biggest mistakes I used to make was over-preparing for an event. While preparation is essential, there’s a point where it becomes counterproductive. I’d rehearse every word, worry about every potential mistake, and overthink every detail. The result? I became fixated on perfection, and any deviation from my plan sent my anxiety spiraling.
What I’ve learned is that it’s important to prepare thoroughly, but leave room for flexibility. Practice until you feel comfortable, but don’t aim for perfection. A little spontaneity helps you stay present in the moment, rather than obsessing over what might go wrong. Plus, it takes some of the pressure off. If things don’t go exactly as planned, it’s okay—you’re capable of adapting.
2. Use Visualization Techniques
I used to dread any event that involved public speaking or performing in front of others. My mind would race with worst-case scenarios—tripping over my words, people staring blankly at me, or completely freezing up. This only heightened my anxiety.
Then I discovered the power of visualization. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, I started visualizing a successful performance. I’d picture myself standing confidently, speaking clearly, and receiving positive feedback. This shift in focus helped rewire my brain to expect success rather than failure. Visualizing yourself handling the situation calmly and confidently can make a huge difference in how you approach it when the time comes.
3. Practice Deep Breathing
One of the most effective techniques for managing performance anxiety, especially in high-pressure situations, is something as simple as deep breathing. When I feel anxiety creeping in, I focus on my breath. A few deep, slow breaths help calm my racing heart and bring me back to the present moment.
The “4-7-8” breathing technique has been particularly helpful for me. Breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for seven, and then exhale for eight. This not only helps calm your nervous system but also provides a momentary distraction from anxious thoughts.
4. Challenge Negative Self-Talk
A big part of my performance anxiety came from the constant stream of negative self-talk. “You’re going to mess up.” “Everyone will think you’re incompetent.” “Why can’t you just be more confident?” These thoughts would play on repeat, making it nearly impossible to feel confident.
It’s crucial to recognize these thoughts for what they are—just thoughts, not reality. Instead of letting them control you, challenge them. Ask yourself, “Is this really true?” or “What’s the worst that could happen, and is it really that bad?” Reframing those thoughts helped me realize that most of my fears were exaggerated and irrational.
5. Break the Event into Smaller Parts
Performance anxiety often feels overwhelming because we tend to view the entire event as one giant, daunting task. One strategy that has worked for me is breaking the event down into smaller, more manageable parts. Instead of focusing on the whole presentation, I’ll think about just getting through the introduction, then the first point, and so on.
By shifting my focus to smaller tasks, the event feels less overwhelming, and I’m able to stay calm throughout. It also helps me build momentum as I complete each small section successfully.
6. Learn to Accept Nervousness
Here’s the truth: even the most seasoned performers get nervous. The key difference is that they’ve learned to accept it. I used to think that if I felt anxious, I was somehow failing. But in reality, nervousness is normal, and trying to fight it only makes it worse.
Instead, I’ve learned to acknowledge my nerves without letting them take over. I tell myself, “It’s okay to feel nervous. It means I care about what I’m doing.” Once I stopped resisting the anxiety, it lost much of its power over me.
7. Focus on Connection, Not Perfection
One of the biggest shifts for me was realizing that my performance wasn’t about being perfect—it was about connecting with others. Whether it’s an audience, a hiring manager, or a group of peers, people are less interested in a flawless performance and more interested in authenticity.
Once I started focusing on simply sharing my message or connecting with others, my anxiety began to fade. It was no longer about impressing people; it was about being present and engaged. Shifting your focus from perfection to connection can make all the difference.
Final Thoughts
Performance anxiety is something many of us struggle with, but it doesn’t have to hold you back. By preparing smartly, using techniques like visualization and deep breathing, challenging negative thoughts, and focusing on connection rather than perfection, you can manage your anxiety and approach performance situations with more confidence.
The next time you find yourself facing a nerve-wracking event, remember—you’ve got this! You’re more capable than you realize, and with the right mindset, you can handle anything that comes your way.