I used to live by my to-do list. I’m talking about the kind that takes up an entire page, with tasks neatly written out and color-coded by priority. It felt satisfying at first—like I was in control. But as the days went by, I started to notice something. No matter how much I checked off, there was always more to do. And that to-do list? It wasn’t making me feel accomplished anymore. Instead, it became a constant source of stress and overwhelm.
I’d wake up already feeling behind. Some days, I wouldn’t even get to half of the tasks I’d planned, and I’d go to bed feeling like a failure. The to-do list that was supposed to make my life easier had become the source of my anxiety. It wasn’t just a list of things to get done—it was a reminder of how much I wasn’t getting done.
One particularly stressful evening, after staring at my list for hours, I decided to stop. Not just stop working but stop obsessing over the list itself. I realized that my approach to productivity was flawed. I had to rethink how I tackled my day. So, I made a few key changes that transformed how I handled my to-dos—and, in the process, reduced my stress significantly.
Here’s what I did and what you can do if your to-do list is stressing you out.
1. Shift Your Focus to Priorities, Not Tasks
The first big change I made was shifting my focus from completing tasks to prioritizing what truly matters. Instead of writing down 20 things I wanted to do, I started listing only the top 3 most important things for the day. These were the things that, if accomplished, would make me feel productive no matter what else I got done.
It was a revelation. By narrowing my focus, I gave myself permission to let go of the rest. That didn’t mean those other tasks weren’t important, but they no longer had to carry the same weight. I knew that by completing my top priorities, I was still moving forward in a meaningful way.
Tip: When writing your to-do list, ask yourself, “What are the top 1-3 things that would make today feel successful?” Write those down, and focus on them first.
2. Learn to Accept ‘Good Enough’
One of the reasons my to-do list was so stressful was because I was always aiming for perfection. Every task had to be done perfectly, or it felt like a failure. But striving for perfection was draining my energy and making it impossible to keep up.
Once I accepted that “good enough” was often good enough, I felt an immense weight lift off my shoulders. For example, instead of spending hours drafting the “perfect” email response, I started aiming for clear, concise communication that didn’t need to be flawless. It wasn’t about lowering standards—it was about recognizing that some tasks just didn’t require perfection.
Tip: Identify tasks that don’t require your absolute best effort, and give yourself permission to aim for “done” instead of “perfect.”
3. Break Down Large Tasks into Smaller, Manageable Steps
One of the biggest sources of my to-do list stress was seeing large, vague tasks like “organize the entire closet” or “complete project proposal.” These tasks were overwhelming in themselves, so I would avoid starting them, which only made me feel more behind.
I started breaking those tasks down into smaller, actionable steps. Instead of “organize closet,” I would write, “sort shoes” or “fold clothes on the top shelf.” For the project proposal, I would break it down into “outline the structure,” “write the introduction,” and so on. Each small step was much easier to tackle, and before I knew it, I was making progress.
Tip: If a task feels too overwhelming, break it into smaller steps that can be done in 10-15 minutes. You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment with each small win.
4. Stop Multitasking—It’s Making You Less Productive
Multitasking was another bad habit I had that made my to-do list feel insurmountable. I would start answering emails, then get distracted by a text, remember that I needed to send a document, and then jump back to emails. The result? Everything took twice as long, and I felt frazzled all day.
By focusing on one task at a time, I not only completed tasks faster, but I also felt more in control of my day. I started using time blocks—dedicating 30-60 minutes to a single task, shutting off distractions, and diving in. My productivity skyrocketed, and so did my sense of calm.
Tip: Stop trying to do everything at once. Pick one task, focus on it for a set amount of time, and resist the urge to multitask.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
Perhaps the most important change I made was learning to be kinder to myself. The to-do list can often feel like a judgment of your worth—especially when you don’t finish everything. But that mindset is toxic. Life happens, priorities shift, and some days are harder than others.
I started giving myself grace on days when things didn’t go as planned. If I didn’t finish my to-dos, I reminded myself that there’s always tomorrow. The to-do list is a tool, not a measure of my value. And as soon as I stopped being so hard on myself, the list became much more manageable.
Tip: Give yourself permission to have off days. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.
Your To-Do List Doesn’t Define You
At the end of the day, the to-do list is just a tool. It’s not meant to rule your life or dictate your self-worth. If your list is stressing you out, it’s time to reassess how you approach it. Focus on priorities, embrace “good enough,” break down large tasks, avoid multitasking, and most importantly, be kind to yourself.
By making these small shifts in how I handled my to-do list, I was able to reduce my stress and feel more in control of my day. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your tasks, try these changes. You might just find that your list becomes less of a burden and more of a helpful guide to your day.